John Schoneboom is a bipedal anthropoid who revels in the sensitivity of his own fingertips. Ask him for his card; he's probably got a David Wright in his wallet.
John recalls scratching his leg like mad all the way home from school one day, only to discover upon eventual trouser removal the shmeared remains of a whole cricket.
Proudest accomplishment? Good at memorizing. He can quote you a lot of Bugs Bunny lines. I mean, a LOT of Bugs Bunny lines. You know what I'm saying?
The following features bear John's insidious imprint: